The Growing Window

For thousands of years culture, nations, religions, and people have been defined by their values and beliefs. Although there is a significant change from the Golden Age to the 21st century, essentially everyone judges others by what they possess and hold dear to them. As a sophomore, my early years were filled with ignorance and self importance to a point where I no longer cared what was happening in the world. No one taught me how to view the world, discover its fascinations or mysteries, to ask questions, to learn and want knowledge; they only taught me to be smart. Even then I had already decided what my life was going to be, who I would marry and what path I would take. Yet, when I went to ASA these things changed, it was as if I stepped into a different world, full of opinions, criticism, ideas, changes, and knowledge of what’s going on around them, not filled with the blatant arrogance that defined my youth. I felt as if I was trespassing an unnamed border, in which I broke the rules and defied tradition. Then I discovered an art that helped me understand why people acted this way, why people felt that way, why people had opinions, why they cared about what was happening in the world, why they could be hurt and why they asked questions. That art is theatre and it changed my life.

Many people believe that music, art, or dance can heal the spirit, chase away evil, or bring good fortune. For me, it helped me delve into the depths of mystery, questions, knowledge and everything unknown, that black unnamable abyss. For years beforehand I wanted to be a person whom my parents would be proud of and no one could predict what I’d say or do or know my future actions. I wanted to be looked at as a person who could understand anyone and anything. I thought I was able to “read” people’s emotions, their wants and fears, and even what they were thinking and on my part made bad assumptions. But, this was a false reality, nothing more than a childish dream. Yet it left an impression, a desire to be able to understand, to know, and to ask questions without fear of the answer and I buried it until I pretended I didn’t care. Upon coming to ASA I had to take a beginning acting class as my second art. I hated theatre, it was something that wouldn’t help me in the long run, and I wouldn’t have it as a profession so why study something that wouldn’t offer anything beneficial? I was wrong. Theatre is full of information, freedom, and questions. There is no definition for such a beautiful, indescribable thing. It helped me discover what I really wanted to do, to be, and to believe.

Theatre is important me because it’s something where I can let myself be me. No one will judge, no one will tell me “This is wrong!” or “You didn’t do it right.” It’s almost as if theatre bends, accepting new changes and expanding until you think it’d burst. But it doesn’t it bends and bends until it’s something inconceivable and you have to dive in and explore every corner to understand. For me, it erased the unconcealed ignorance, the horrible self importance that I had wanted to define me. It left me bare and introduced me to a whole different reality. It posed questions, offered knowledge, and challenged me until I didn’t think there’d be anything left I’d understand. It offered a window into the real reality that keeps growing until someday I can step out and walk a path that won’t be already set. I’ll be able to understand, to listen, to comfort, to think about others and to care about the world. I’ll be able to help others understand and get past that unforgiving self obsession. For me, theatre changed my life, my very essence and most importantly my principles. I feel more free and knowledgeable about people, their feelings, emotions, values, even fears. I feel more open to these things in which I never would have been able to experience without the help of that ever growing window and that ever changing path.

Note: Omg I sound so philisophical (sp?) heehee. 715 words of awesomeness. rock on the free world =)