The God in My Life

Religious beliefs permeate every aspect of culture and civilization. Our values shape every aspect of our lives, whether we are atheist or attend religious services on a regular basis. It is astounding that so many of the ideas and values in the world are based on a higher celestial being.
Throughout my life, I have changed my beliefs and my faith. My religious background was always a little vague. My mother is Jewish and we celebrated the major holidays when I was young. But eventually, my mother decided that the religion no longer spoke to her and the celebrations ceased. My dad is Christian and though he never attends church, has a strong belief in God. He exposed us to the major biblical stories and ideas.
Because of my upbringing, when I was little, I had no doubt that God existed just like I believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. But my childhood dreams gave way to reality and, subtly, without my noticing, my faith in God did too.
There were times when I wasn't sure God existed. The first real test came when I was talking to an atheist friend who told me there is no proof in God, no evidence that he exists. As my friend went on to point out, almost all phenomena can be explained scientifically and at some point, you have to face that harsh reality. It reminded me of when I was eight and my mother told me that Santa Claus did not exist. Then too, I had to face reality, accept it, and move on. So I tried again.
Logically I agreed with my friend. I began doubting religion. I considered the thoughtless people who blindly followed their faith, never taking a step back to consider if what was being preached was something they believed in. I specifically recalled an experience in which I was told that because I was not Christian and did not attend church, I was irrevocably headed towards Hell. With these arguments in mind, I could clearly see my friend's point of view.
But it did not feel right. Not accepting God felt like there was a crucial part of me missing. It was jarring notes in a familiar song. I began to realize that I believed in God because I could see good in the world. My personal beliefs are that God is necessary for that definable difference between good and evil, between moral and immoral to exist.
In the end I realized that my faith in God is buried deep inside of me, ingrained in my soul. It is one escape I have from the materialistic world I live in. Whether I am a part of a church or not, I believe in and love God.